i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Will exercising make me less horny?
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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