It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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