He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
