My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
