dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
My brain says no but my pants say off.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Randomize
