ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
