Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
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