i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
