Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
