put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
