..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
so much tequila, so little girl.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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