She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
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