if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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