you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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