what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Randomize
