Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I would ride that face into the sunset
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize