I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
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