I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
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