1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Randomize
