They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
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