I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Randomize