I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize