what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
