i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Randomize
