okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
