Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Randomize
