hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Randomize
