2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
