Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
