She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Randomize
