its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Randomize