drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
