I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
