the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize