My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Randomize
