so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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