butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
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