Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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