honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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