we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
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