Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
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