Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
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