My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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