i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Randomize
