I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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