I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
