She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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