Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
