I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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