I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
