So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
I wish you could order shots online.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
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