i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
MIDGETS
????
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Randomize