We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
