you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
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