I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
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