Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
God, I missed his penis.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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