I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
