Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Randomize
