she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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