Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
