between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
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