My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
