i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Randomize
