yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Randomize
