Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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