I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
Randomize
