He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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