So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
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