i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Randomize
