If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
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