I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
