The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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