Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
40s are totally the cure
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Randomize
