party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Randomize
