i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Randomize
