I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
