we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
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