I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
