I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Randomize
